Machete: a movie review

I was going to tell you that if your husband ever come home with the movie “Machete” to run and never look back. After all the first five minutes include the main character blowing a dozen or more people away with a six-shooter without reloading. Then he comes upon a naked woman laying on a bed and tells her to get dressed to which she replies, “It’s too hot for clothes.” So he does what any man would do and picks her up, slings her over his shoulder and leaves. When he puts her down, she pulls out a cell phone to call the bad guy. However when you see him jumping out of a window using a man’s intestines as a rope, I couldn’t figure out why this movie didn’t win an Oscar!

This movie has some well-known actors including Robert Deniro, Jessica Alba, Don Johnson, Cheech, Steven Segal, and Lindsey Lohan. Most of whom, with the exception of Steven and Lindsey, must have lost some sort of bet to agree to be in this movie.

I’ll admit, I watched the entire movie. If you can get past the language and ridiculous amount of blood, it’s stupid enough that it gets a sick chuckle or two. I can’t believe I watched the whole movie and I would not recommend it to anyone, unless you’re a sick puppy like me!